Extraterrestrial Noir : Humorous Sci-Fi Novel by Rich Leder book tour with guest post & giveaway

 

EXTRATERRESTRIAL NOIR

Rich Leder

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GENRE: SciFi

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BLURB:

A PSYCHO-CRIMINAL EXTRATERRESTRIAL ON A SUBURBAN CUL-DE-SAC

A FAMILY ON THE BRINK OF ALL-ENCOMPASSING INSOLVENCY

A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD UBER-GENIUS DAUGHTER IN THE LINE OF FIRE

CAN SHE SAVE THE FAMILY, NOT TO MENTION THE PLANET?

An extraterrestrial crashes into a suburban cul-de-sac Colonial, absorbs every binary bit of information ever chronicled in all of human history, rearranges its molecules and presents itself as a couple of late and legendary film noir superstars, then immediately displays an appetite for debauchery, depravity, decadence, and destruction, seducing the family into its psychopathic criminal orbit with irresistible Hollywood panache, alluring sexual charisma, and inconceivable intergalactic powers.…all in the name of saving the family from their emotional, marital, and financial ruin.

But uber-genius-daughter Mike Devine figures out fast that the extraterrestrial’s principal plan is to employ its unfathomable interplanetary muscle and implode the planet. Which leaves the fate of her family, not to mention the world, in her twelve-year-old hands.

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EXCERPT

“Forget the meteor,” Peter said. “Where’s the hole?”

“There it is,” Lazlo said. But he was pointing at the ceiling, at the same size and shaped hole that ran in a line at a forty-five-degree angle through the house. The cul-de-sac husbands all looked up at the hole, through the dining room, the master bedroom, and the attic to the sky. Only Maggie followed the path down to its conclusion. 

“What in the world is that?” she said. 

And then the room went silent, as if all the air had been sucked out of the house through the succession of small rectangular holes.

Connie and Maggie had decided on white oak floors when they’d finished the basement, and then covered them with colorful Karastan rugs. Lying on a deep-red-and-brown rug, five feet in front of the giant flat-screen television, surrounded by debris from the various ceilings and floors that followed it down as it smashed through the house, was a silver box.  

It was, like the holes it created, the size and shape of a Frye cowboy boot box, but smoother along the edges. Perfectly smooth, in fact. It wasn’t particularly polished, more matte finish than shiny, and was completely unmarked. There was simply no evidence whatsoever that it had burned through the atmosphere and smashed through a suburban Colonial at a million miles an hour.

“It’s like somebody bought a pair of boots and left the box on the floor,” Bill said.

“Doesn’t look like it came crashing down,” Peter agreed.

“Looks like it came in for a landing,” Maggie said.

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Guest Post:

Advice for writers

Yeah, sure, I know, probably the last thing you’re looking for is advice from some writer you never met. But here come the only two pearls of writing wisdom that work for me. Take them with a grain of salt, if you must. Or the whole shaker, if you need to. Forget that business about “Write what you know.” Just throw that junk out the window. You can know anything. You can be a fractional expert in practically every category of everything in the world within a week. It’s called Google. It’s called Reading. It’s called Research. So don’t “Write what you know.” There’s no soulful point to that. Write what you love! Then learn everything there is to know about whatever that is. The ancillary point to pearl number one is: Forget that garbage about “Write to Market.” By the time you’ve finished writing your bit about nothing except the market, the market has moved on. And so you’ve missed the boat anyway and written something you won’t care about the minute you start writing something you love. Write what you love! Forget that nonsensical trash talk you create in your own head (though sometimes spewing from the mouths of morons) telling you to put that piece of writing aside. Demanding to know where you got the bright idea that you could write? You can’t write worth a damn, the trash-voice says. No one will care about this garbage you’re writing, the trash-voice says. Don’t waste your time, your money, your energy, the trash-voice says. You’re not a real writer, and you never will be, the trash-voice says. Which brings us to pearl number two: Write Anyway. Trust me for a moment, the trash-voice never goes away. I’m hearing it now as I write this blog post. But after four decades of writing fiction and very occasionally nonfiction, I’ve learned to ignore that voice and press on. I’ve learned to Write Anyway no matter the mountain I must climb. If you’re stuck or blocked or angry at your number one naysayer—who’s probably you—give these two pearls a spin around the block.

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AUTHOR Bio and Links:

Rich Leder has been a working writer for more than three decades. His credits include eight novels for Laugh Riot Press and 19 produced movies—television films for CBS, Lifetime, and Hallmark and feature films for Lionsgate, Paramount Pictures, Tri-Star Pictures, Longridge Productions, and Left Bank Films. 

He’s been the lead singer in a Detroit rock band, a restaurateur, a Little League coach, an indie film director, a literacy tutor, a magazine editor, a screenwriting coach, a wedding consultant (it’s true), a PTA board member, a HOA president, a commercial real estate agent, and a visiting artist for the UNCW Film Studies Department, all of which, it turns out, was grist for the mill.

WEBSITE: https://www.richleder.com

BUY LINKS

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FBLKSK2W

https://bookshop.org/p/books/extraterrestrial-noir-rich-leder/22774708

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GIVEAWAY

One randomly chosen winner will win a $25 Amazon/BN.com gift card.

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