HIJINKS, HITCHHIKERS AND MAYHEM
Gail Koger
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GENRE: Action/adventure, RomCom, Fantasy
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BLURB:
All
Casey wanted was to have hot, mind-blowing sex with Hothar, her soul mate. That
little fantasy went up in smoke when she’s stuck babysitting a cowardly witch
who is the galaxy’s only hope of survival.
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EXCERPT
“Next up is Aphrodite, Goddess of Love,” a voice shouted
over the titty bar loudspeakers.
No freakin’ way. The witch wouldn’t be stupid enough to
audition as a stripper when we were hunting her, would she? Nah. It was just a
coincidence. There were probably lots of dancers who called themselves
Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love.
Aphrodite’s bell-shaped breasts bobbed wildly as she ran out
on the stage, wearing only a pink G-string.
Hitch made a noise like a cat hacking up a hairball.
Yep, that summed it up. What had happened to Aphrodite’s
dream of being a chorus girl in Vegas?
The men in the audience whistled and stomped their feet as
Aphrodite humped the pole like an inebriated caterpillar.
“Move your ass,” someone shouted.
The witch twitched her butt spasmodically.
Holy hell. Aphrodite had no sense of rhythm, nor could she
dance. Ugh. Enough was enough. I wound my way through the tables and jumped up
onto the stage. “Are you insane? We’re leaving now.”
Aphrodite glared at me. “Go away.”
Dozens of cockroaches scurried over my sandals. “Wazzock’s
piss!” I hopped around like a crazy person trying to dislodge the little
beasts.
Hitch trilled in excitement and the roaches began to vanish.
The men shouted, “Shake it baby. Shake it!”
Aphrodite shoved me. “Get off the stage. You’re ruining my
routine.”
“Routine?” I did a tap dance on the bugs. “This is a
cockroach-infested titty bar, not Vegas.”
“You’re spoiling everything,” Aphrodite snarled.
“You’ll thank me later. Where are your clothes?”
“I’m not leaving,” Aphrodite shrieked.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
I
was a 9-1-1 dispatcher for the Glendale Police Department and to keep from
going totally bonkers – I mean people have no idea what a real emergency is.
Take this for example: I answered, “9-1-1 emergency, what’s your emergency?”
And this hysterical woman yelled, “My bird is in a tree.” Sometimes I really
couldn’t help myself, so I said, “Birds have a tendency to do that, ma’am.” The
woman screeched, “No! You don’t understand. My pet parakeet is in the tree.
I’ve just got to get him down.” Like I said, not a clue. “I’m sorry ma’am but
we don’t get birds out of trees.” The woman then cried, “But… What about my
husband? He’s up there, too.” See what I had to deal with? To keep from hitting
myself repeatedly in the head with my phone I took up writing.
http://www.gailkoger.com
https://www.facebook.com/Colettiwarlordbooks/
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1598719.Gail_Koger
https://twitter.com/Askole
https://www.instagram.com/gkoger58/
https://www.bookbub.com/authors/gail-koger
http://www.amazon.com/Gail-Koger/e/B001K838BY
http://gailswarlords30.bsky.social
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GIVEAWAY
Gail Koger will be awarding a $15 Amazon/BN GC to a randomly drawn winner.
Thank you so much for featuring HIJINKS, HITCHHIKERS AND MAYHEM today.
ReplyDeleteThe perfect escapism from the real world with lots of laugh-out-loud moments.
ReplyDeleteI would enjoy reading this one.
ReplyDeleteThis looks like a very good book and I look forward to reading it.
ReplyDelete