In A Pickle: How to Master Love and Pickleball and Not Kill Each Other By Dr. Stormy Hill and Teri Citterman Book Tour with Guest Posts and Interviews
Synopsis (from the authors):
Pickleball. Is it the ultimate therapy or a
fast track to the counselor's couch? While couples flock to the courts with
dreams of shared joy, they are often quickly confronted by criticism and
frustration, in other words, the reality of playing pickleball together. It's
no wonder both marriage counseling and divorce are on the rise.
Dr. Stormy Hill and Teri Citterman know the
struggle. They've witnessed countless couples transform from sweethearts to
sparring partners in the blink of an eye.
With a blend of humor and expertise, they offer
couples playful and powerful strategies to master the court, have more fun, and
win more points. Because, at the end of the day, it's just pickleball. And no
one wants to end up on an episode of Dateline.
Excerpts:
Chapter 4: Playing with Intention vs. “In Tension”
The line between deciding your intention and finding
yourself in tension is narrow. On the
way to the club, you and your spouse are a confident couple, unstoppable,
poised for victory. But from the first
serve on, confidence turns to confusion, “Who’s got the middle?”1 becomes WTF! and you find yourselves furiously in tension
and seething with rage.
What the hell just happened?
Three powerful strategies to
help shift you from tension to cohesion are intentions, goal setting, and gratitude. These proven tools help people
be more successful in life, love, and pickleball.
Power of Intention
Nothing beats being in the
zone with your partner. When you and your spouse are setting each other up for the put-aways, trusting that
you’ve got the middle, knowing you both have each other’s backs, you are winning! This is what
happens when you are playing with intention, rather than playing in tension.
Setting an intention is not
some woo-woo, hippie way of hoping for the best. It is a well-studied strategy to direct your thoughts, actions,
and energy. Typically, an intention is a commitment to yourself that is aligned with action. It can
be one word or a few words that you invoke to help you stay focused.
Examples of Setting Intention:
Have fun today.
Move my feet. Run for the ball.
Drop my third shots.
One more ball in play.
Move with my partner.
Serve strong. Stay focused.
Slow down.
1 A rallying war cry by Dave “the Badger”
Weinbach, when your opponent hits the ball straight down the middle and creates confusion between partners.
Play competitive.
Bring the energy.
You see how varied intentions
can be. That’s why it is good to set your intention each day that you head to the court. It’s also a great
practice for both you and your spouse to set an intention, then share them with each other. That way,
from the start you can know whether you're aligned.
If your intention is “playing
a chill game” and your partner’s is “to win at any cost,” then your intentions are misaligned. In fact, your
whole approach may be misaligned and that’s important to recognize.
Teri's competitive nature is well-known, but is
not the same as her husband’s. Raj mentioned
this one day, which surprised her. “You like to compete, but you're not
ultra-competitive,” he replied. Teri
bristled.
When winning is paramount, Raj will reach deep
into his reserves to pull out the skill necessary to win. If he loses, he'll fight to the end.
That’s how intention quickly moves to being in tension. If Teri loses, she doesn't dwell on it. Raj,
with his perfectionism, does. Raj acknowledges people are different, and so to play together, his
intention is to occasionally check his ultra competitiveness and remember it's
a choice to play with Teri.
Getting clarity on each
other’s intentions is a good conversation to have before you step onto the court.
During a day of play, Stormy’s
intention was power. Steve’s intention was finesse. This worked well for them. While she worked on her power
game, he handled the drops and the resets. They
were in flow with their intentions and won most of their points.
Conversely, when Stormy’s
intention was to “just have fun” and Steve’s intention was to “crush the opponents,” one might imagine what it
looks like to put a fire out by pouring gasoline on it. Not pretty, and also ineffective.
Steve and Stormy were in
tension. While Stormy was offering smiley faced “good tries” and laughing at her errors, Steve’s blood
pressure was rising. He sneered at each missed shot, including his own, and poached 90% of the
court. They were on the struggle bus, and there
were no more stops on the route. Recognizing they were in tension made
it easier not to say
something they couldn’t take
back. That is a serious demonstration of self control, folks. Goal Setting
When you set a goal, it makes
it six times more likely you will meet it. Goal setting has been studied by science and change theorists for a
long time. It’s a powerful strategy for success in
every setting from corporate America to personal
development to professional athletes, and it
applies to relationships and to the pickleball court.
Why? Because our brain likes a
challenge. When we set a goal, our brain immediately kicks into action toward achieving that goal. That’s
what it takes to change.
Goal →
Action → Change
When Stormy and Steve set a goal and defined the
actions, it was game changing.
Knowing each other's goals is
a smart way to support each other. When working toward your goals, you will automatically have more grace
with yourself and with your spouse, when they
make errors. Because after all, achieving a goal is about making
mistakes, learning from them, and
mastering the shots you practice.
Gratitude Goes A Long Way
We won’t bore you with the
myriad of ways that gratitude can improve your life, your happiness, and your mental health. Though it does!
Gratitude shifts our mindset in ways few other things do. And a positive mindset, when playing
pickleball with your partner, is more than half the battle.
If we take a step back,
pickleball provides a wealth of things to be thankful for. Our ability to
run, jump, and compete on the court. The
sheer exhilaration and happiness the game brings us. The camaraderie we share with our pickleball
partners and opponents. The satisfaction of seeing our skills improve with each match played. Lean into gratitude because you get to play this sport
with your lover.
Pickleball
Points
● Mind over matter. Your thoughts shape your
game.
● Gratitude is your secret weapon. Focus on the
positive.
● Goals fuel success. Set them, achieve them,
repeat.
Court
Chemistry
● What keeps each of you from
staying focused on the court, and what do each of you need to do to minimize distraction?
Guest Posts:
Breaking Ground: The
First Book About Sports and Relationships (and Why It’s All About Pickleball)
By Dr. Stormy Hill and
Teri Citterman
You’ve been there. It’s date
night, and you’re on the court with your partner. You’re having fun... until
you’re not. Maybe it’s the fifth time he’s missed a dink, or maybe you’re the
one who accidentally beaned him with a rogue serve. Suddenly, your sweet
bonding activity has turned into Survivor:
Couples Edition.
Sound familiar?
If so, you’re not alone.
Playing sports together can be both the best and worst thing for a
relationship. But here’s the magic of pickleball: it’s the only sport where you
and your partner can genuinely play together—even if one of you is a pickleball
prodigy and the other is still figuring out the score. And that’s why we wrote In A Pickle: How to Master Love and
Pickleball and Not Kill Each Other—to
help couples not just survive but thrive on and off the court.
Pickleball’s meteoric rise
(hello, 36 million players last year!) isn’t just a trend. It’s a phenomenon,
and it’s pulling couples into its orbit. Why? Because it’s equal parts
competitive, collaborative, and, let’s face it, hilarious. You don’t need to be
Serena and Venus Williams to have a good time—and you don’t need to be on the
same skill level to make it work. In fact, playing pickleball together is an amazing metaphor for relationships:
communication, patience, and knowing when to keep your mouth shut.
This book is for anyone who’s
ever laughed, cried, or fumed through a doubles game with their significant
other. It’s packed with irreverent tips, real talk, and plenty of laughs to
help couples navigate the unique mix of love and competition that comes with
the sport. Because whether you’re a pickleball newbie or a seasoned pro, the
couple that learns to play (and laugh) together stays together. Or, at the very
least, doesn’t want to kill each other on the court.
Pura Vida Pickleball: How Friendship and Pickleball Collide
By Dr. Stormy Hill and
Teri Citterman
It all began in Costa Rica,
under the blazing sun and amidst the sweat and humidity of a good game of
pickleball. That’s where we met. Stormy remembers the first time she saw Teri
on the court, thinking, “Who is this fiery lady? And wow, she is good!” She was
immediately drawn to Teri’s no-nonsense approach, and knew she had to meet her.
Turns out, we didn’t just hit
it off on the court—our significant others clicked just as well. It was a match
made in heaven: good pickleball partners and fast friends.
Since that day, we’ve played
pickleball together in Texas, Mexico, Costa Rica, and more destinations are
sure to come. We even entered a women’s doubles tournament in Playa Flamingo,
Costa Rica, which became memorable for more than just the competition. What we
call a “pickle brawl” broke out between two guys, and it ended with one of them
getting quite bloodied. Stormy had to step in to play nurse. Not exactly the
laid-back “Pura Vida” vibe Costa Rica is known for, but it did give us some
good material for the book!
The seeds for In A Pickle,
How to Master Love and Pickleball and Not Kill Each Other, were planted.
Writing a book is no easy
feat, but co-authoring one? That’s nothing short of a miracle. We had to learn
how to blend our distinct writing styles and energies while making sure our
friendship stayed intact. The stress could have easily gotten in the way, but
we’re proud to say we made it through with our bond not just intact, but
stronger.
Pickleball is more than just
a sport—it’s a way of life. It’s an instant community filled with the coolest
people. For us, it led to a friendship for the ages, and for that, we’re
incredibly grateful.
Author Interview:
On
writing:
How did you do research for your book?
We
lived the research as we learned to play better with our significant others. In
all seriousness, we talked to countless couples at rec play and tournaments
about the dynamics of playing together. We witnessed couples struggling on the
court and losing points in the game and in love because of it.
In your book you make a reference to....Kitchen Knife Moments. How did you come up with this idea?
On
the pickleball court, the non-volley zone is called the kitchen. A friend Teri
plays with showed up one day and mentioned she nearly had a ‘kitchen knife
moment’ with her husband the night before. She was referring to the actual
kitchen, but Teri and Raj adopted this endearing term to describe the feeling
you have on the pickleball court when you just want to clock your partner with
your paddle. (Not that you would.)
Where do you get inspiration for your stories?
Our
own lives and pickleball careers. Our friends who play. And anyone who plays
with their significant other.
There are many books out there about pickleball....What makes yours different?
While
there are books on how to play pickleball, strategy, the rules etc.… In A Pickle, How to Master Love and
Pickleball and Not Kill Each Other is
the first book of its kind that
combines both sports and relationships. While it’s a book about how to play
pickleball with your significant other, it’s really a book about relationships
and how to thrive together.
Do you have another profession besides writing?
Teri
is an executive coach, ghostwriter for books by CEOs and entrepreneur.
Stormy
is a mental health therapist, relationship coach, and entrepreneur.
Fun stuff:
Favorite dessert?
Stormy
– all things chocolate. She even has a tattoo on her forearm of a chocolate
benefit.
Teri
– Loves cheese cake and raw cookie dough. Yes, raw.
If there is one thing you want readers to remember about you, what would it be?
Stormy:
You are never too much. Women often shrink themselves to be smaller to
accommodate what the media often feeds us about being too much. But the world
needs your bigness now more than ever.
Teri:
Just play. Pickleball is a fun game that will keep you healthy, keep your brain
engaged and keep you coming back for more.
What is your go-to breakfast item?
Stormy
– all things eggs.
Teri
– Vanilla pancakes made from scratch
What is the strangest way you've become friends with someone?
Stormy:
Meeting Teri all sweaty and hot on the pickleball court in Costa Rica is up
there and I am so glad I did 
Teri:
I couldn’t agree more.
Author bios:
Stormy Hill is a mental health therapist and relationship coach from Salt Lake City, where
you can ski some of the best peaks and play pickleball all in the same day.
Teri Citterman is an executive coach from Seattle, the birthplace of pickleball, who now resides in Austin, Texas, home to some of the top pro pickleball players in the world.
We are doubles partners at the 3.5 - 4.0 level. We met in Costa Rica and found we shared a love for pickleball and for our respective partners. We realized that, sometimes, the combination of the two ignites a chemical explosion that teeters on the edge of amazement, before it plummets into a cesspool of disappointment.
We've experienced the pickleball highs and lows with our partners. Some days we rock the court as a relational unit to be reckoned with. Other days, our looks can kill, words can wound, and it's not just us. We've witnessed this dynamic between couples at rec play, drill practice, and at camps, clinics, and tournaments. We've seen couples – husbands, wives, spouses, significant others, life partners, soulmates, and lovers – in conflict and losing points and faith in each other because of it.
We know the anguish and the addiction firsthand.
Links:
Website: http://loveandpickleball.net
Facebook: @love.and.pickleball
Instagram: @love_and_pickleball
TikTok: @loveandpickleball
Amazon: https://amzn.to/3V6hzkr
Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/220827531-in-a-pickle
Praise:
“A must-read for any
pickleball-playing couple. It's a hilarious and insightful look at the
challenges and rewards of playing with your spouse.” – Tim Klitch, General Manager and part-owner of Major League
Pickleball Team Texas Ranchers. Founder & Chief Fun Officer at Austin
Pickle Ranch
“Teri and Stormy share personal stories of
frustrations (and growth) while playing with their spouses, allowing readers to
see themselves in the variety of personalities reflected. Teri's direct,
CEO-advising style complements Stormy's therapy-based approach to enhance
communication between partners. – Dr.
Joel Bell PhD, LMHC, Son of Pickleball Co-Inventor Bill Bell
“In A Pickle is a game-changer for couples. I
laughed, I cried! This book perfectly captures the chaos and joy of playing
pickleball with your partner.” – Pickleball Pro Dave ‘the Badger’ Weinbach,
10-time National Champion, 15-time US Open Champion, and winner of 210 Gold
Medals
“This book is dynamite for couples, blending
hilarious insights with genuinely useful tips on keeping love alive while
smashing it on the pickleball court. I can’t recommend it enough for anyone who
wants to score big in both their relationship and their pickleball game!”
– Dr. Sharon Noble, PhD, Couples Therapist,
School Psychologist, Somatic Embodiment Coach
"In this delightful and humorous book,
couples are taken on a journey of learning how to play pickleball together
without driving each other crazy. The author's witty and relatable anecdotes
make this a must-read for any couple looking to strengthen their relationship
while mastering a new sport." –
Kevin Beeson, KB Pickleball, Senior Pro Player, 3-time National Champion,
Touring Teaching Professional, and Author of Pickleball Metaphors: The fast
track to better pickleball
"This book is a delightful blend of
beauty and humor. By reading it, not only will you enhance your game, but you
will also strengthen your connection with your better half on the court. Enjoy
the journey!" – Fernanda Aragon,
Pickleball Pro, COPA LATAM PICKLEBALL National Women's Doubles Champion for
Costa Rica
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