Lesser Known Travel Tips Series Humorous Travel Memoirs by Simon Yeats Book Tour with Guest Post and Giveaway

 LESSER KNOWN TRAVEL TIPS SERIES

Simon Yeats

 

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GENRE:  Humor/Memoir

 

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BLURB:

 

The Lesser Known Travel Tips memoirs are a hilarious series of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection by Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about them.

 

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as the Spanish Flu in 1918 or hordes of Mongols in 12th Century.

 

From how to keep yourself entertained when unwittingly forced to watch 11 hours of live sumo wrestling in Japan, to surviving heartbreak in India at the hands of a French flight attendant, to 48 hours spent in Nepal that qualify as the funniest most gut wrenching travel experience since Captain Bligh was set adrift in the Pacific, to his unsuccessful attempts at avoiding going to a brothel in Thailand. From what to do when several people converge to rob you after midnight on a deserted Copacabana Beach, to how to save the Sierra Mountain Range from a wildfire outbreak due to a lack of quality toilet paper, to where not to go in Tijuana when trying to locate the origins to stories of the city’s mythical adult entertainment, to how to save yourself from drowning when caught in a storm while sailing off the California coast. From how to outwit the Italian police while trying to find parking in downtown Genoa, to how to negotiate exploring the Roman ruins of Plovdiv, Bulgaria while on crutches, to how to impress the German Mafia with 80s dance moves, to how to leave a lasting impression on a crowded bar in Gothenburg, Sweden after combining alcohol and antibiotics.

 

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to break a leg, contract Dengue fever, or rupture a pancreas.

 

 

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EXCERPT 

Excerpt from How to Survive Making Yourself Look Silly While Dancing with the German Mafia at a Bavarian Nightclub and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips

 

British Airways flight BA114 from JFK to London Heathrow landed on time at 9.20am on Friday, March 14th.

 

Kid in candy store meets the ultimate sugar rush.

 

Twenty-nine years, 351 days after I was born, I finally step foot in the country that gave humanity the names of every square on the Monopoly board. If my doctor was worried about my impulsive behavior being a sign of ADHD when I was five, then the entire medical fraternity would be absolutely perturbed seeing the level of hyperactivity I have walking through Heathrow customs at age 29 years and 351 days.

 

Children would not get this excited waiting to be served a stick of cotton candy at the state fair after snorting cocaine.

 

But today is what life is all about. Moments of pure joy like this.

 

I walk out of the arrivals gate and am greeted by a mass of people in thick overcoats, gloves, and parkas. I am in shorts. The weather in New York had been unseasonably warm, such that I felt comfortable enough wearing shorts to go to the airport. The weather in London was the same. Brisk but not freezing. And I have so much energy just from the exhilaration of being here that I am sweating. Everyone stares at me like I am Taylor Swift, wearing a scuba mask, while breastfeeding a baby in public.

 

My good mates Sheilds and Jim are at the airport to pick me up. They have no trouble picking me out of the crowd. I look like I am on a pogo stick bouncing along inside the steady stream of travelers who are not anywhere near as thrilled as I am to be here.

 

Sheilds’ eyes go as wide as saucers when she sees what I am wearing.

 

“Why on earth are you in shorts?”

 

“Can we drive past Big Ben on the way to your home?”

 

“Don’t you think you will be cold?”

 

“Is there a fish and chip shop close by, where we can get some fish and chips wrapped in newspaper?”

 

“It is chilly outside.”

 

“What are we going to see first? Trafalgar Square? Piccadilly Circus? Euston Road?”

 

“Don’t you have any warm clothes?”

 

“How long would it take us to drive to Loch Ness?”

 

The entire drive from the airport to Putney, they could not understand why I was not shivering with cold. I could not understand why they were not jumping out of their skin with excitement we were in London.

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Author Guest Post

Why I write memoirs

Because I am lazy and writing memoirs, with the effortless requirement of opening myself up with regard to my feelings, fears, hopes, mental health, and desires, is so simple and easy to do. Truth is stranger than fiction and it makes logical sense that if I wanted to write an interesting book, being a lazy person, then choosing to do memoirs rather than fiction was the obvious choice. For instance, I don’t have to come up with a fantastical name for the settings of where the action in my book takes place. Someone has already done that work for me. Europe. Japan. Brazil. New Zealand. The Girl’s A-Plenty brothel in Phuket, Thailand. I didn’t have to invent interesting names of the characters, I just used everybody’s real name and I then sent them a text, too bad, suck it up, you know I have no money so no point in suing me. Best of all, I didn’t have to invent any adventures that my characters went on. I don’t have the intelligence to develop such ideas like being accused of killing a security guard in Hawaii, have a gang war erupt outside my house when I lived in the bad section of Santa Monica, getting diarrhea while whitewater rafting in Nepal, having muggers wait for me at 2am on a deserted Copacabana Beach, or walking on crutches all over Plovdiv, Bulgaria to find a restaurant that would serve a party of 30 before gate crashing a quiet Mafia affair at a bistro.

AUTHOR Bio and Links:

 

Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

 

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

 

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

 

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CBNQLSPW/about

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@authoryeats

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authoryeats/?hl=en

 

Book One:  https://www.amazon.com/Brothel-Thailand-Ordering-Lesser-Travel-ebook/dp/B0CLDBSXGX/ref=sr_1_3

Book Two: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Mugged-Janeiro-Singing-Police-ebook/dp/B0CPCBMD1N/ref=sr_1_4

Book Three: https://www.amazon.com/Survive-Yourself-Dancing-Bavarian-Nightclub-ebook/dp/B0CR6GDDXR/ref=sr_1_2

 

 

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GIVEAWAY  

 

A randomly drawn winner will be awarded a $25 Amazon/BN gift card.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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