“What are you grinning about?” Brock asked as I plopped down in my chair with a beer.
“I think I have a real chance with Laura.”
“Yeah? Even after she flashed you multiple times, then ran upstairs like her hair was on fire?”
“Relax. I got the signal. It’s all good.”
“What’s the signal?” he questioned.
“She punched my shoulder.”
“Ah, the punch the shoulder routine. That’s a classic.”
“I know, which is why I know it’s all good.”
He nodded at me with a huge grin on his face. “It is a classic, but you have this all wrong.”
I was about to take another drink when I paused. “What do you mean? She punched me. That’s the signal.”
“Right, the signal that you’re just friends.”
“What? No, that’s not right. A punch is affectionate.”
“A punch is like saying, yeah, I like you, but it’s not going any further.”
“No, I swear. The punch is a sign she likes me. It’s the go-ahead signal.”
Brock snorted in amusement, but I didn’t find it very funny. “Yeah, it’s the signal that seven year old boys give to girls on the playground. You’re not seven and this isn’t the playground. She’s not into you like that.”
I frowned, thinking over the way she blushed when I told her that I couldn’t unsee what was under that curtain. There’s no way she was faking her reaction. “Okay, if she doesn’t like me, then tell me why her heart rate kicks up whenever I get close to her, or why she blushes from head to toe when I wink at her.”
“Uh…one, because you saw her naked when she was vulnerable. Of course she’s going to blush! And her heart rate kicks up because you’re boxing her in and making her uncomfortable.”
“Shoot,” I said in realization. “You think so?”
“It’s not rocket science. You misread the signals.”
I took another pull of my beer, wondering how I managed to do that. I really thought she was into me. Now…now things were just awkward. She was up in my shower, about to get in my clothes! How was I supposed to handle her prancing around my house wearing nothing but my t-shirt?
“You give her sweatpants,” Brock said, drinking his own beer.
“Sorry, what?”
“You were doing that thing where you think out loud.”
“I don’t do that,” I grumbled.
“Then how do I know that you’re wondering how you’re not gonna get a chubby while she’s here?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. But now I was totally screwed. I thought this was gonna go somewhere. Now...
“Well, hell. I really thought she liked me.”
“You could still go for it,” he shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“She could punch me in the face instead of the shoulder,” I grumbled.
“Yeah, that could be bad.”
And then I thought of something even worse than that. “Man, we only have two beds.”
“Your point?”
“Where are we supposed to let them sleep?” I asked, getting up and kicking my damn chair. “It would be rude of us to make them sleep on the floor.”
“You think?” He said sarcastically. “I don’t know about you, but I’m taking the fatalistic one to bed.”
“Seriously? Even after all the doom and gloom talk?”
“I dig it,” he grinned. “Well, I’m mostly horny since Miranda won’t sleep with me. What’s with that?”
“Well, getting interrupted twice isn’t a coincidence. That’s a sign from the stars,” I said, just to piss him off as payback for him ruining my mood.
“Fu@k you very much. I guess this means neither of us gets the woman we want.”
“Yeah, well, I should have known. She said this guy was coming into town. What was I thinking?”
“That you’d rescued her and she’d fall to her knees and suck your co@k,” he pointed out.
“Right, I thought with the wrong head,” I nodded. “Screwed the whole thing up.”
“Face it, she put you firmly in the friend-zone. There’s no getting out of it now.”
“Fu@k.”
I hated the friend-zone. “And she’s actually nice, someone I might get along with in real life. You know, aside from my fake life as a construction worker.”
“Aside from that,” he agreed. “You know, it’s probably for the best. I mean, really, what’s a woman like that going to do with a guy like you?”
“You mean, aside from pleasure me all night long?” I asked sarcastically.
“Hey, I’m just saying, she’s not exactly the type to go out with a guy like you. You’re too…brutish.”
“Brutish? I don’t think I’ve ever been called that.”
“Well, compared to a normal guy,” he said. “You know, like a teacher or a banker.”
I rolled my eyes at the comparison. “Hey, I can be just as normal as a teacher or a banker. I have normal guy qualities.”
“Name one,” he said, staring over at me expectantly.
I sat there for a few minutes, trying to come up with something. “Okay, what about this…I like pool.”
He stared at me for a moment, then shook his head. “Ooh, you’re right. How did I miss that?”
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