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Wet Work, by Donald J. Bingle
Prologue
Truth told, Jerry Caufield hated his wife’s car. It wasn’t that he wasn’t eco-friendly and all that, but he was a big guy—six foot two and beefy—so squeezing behind the steering wheel of the hybrid sub-compact practically allowed him to steer with his stomach muscles. Okay, his beer belly. The disconcertingly claustrophobic two-door hatchback could barely contain him as he scrunched down and tilted his head so he could see out the windshield.
His discomfort and anxiety over the tiny vehicle was even worse when, like today and almost every day, he was surrounded by huge dump trucks. A constant, smoke-belching stream of growling behemoths hauled gravel from the pits across the bridge, down by the Des Plaines River as it meandered through Joliet. The shallow, placid river paralleled the darker, deeper Sanitary & Ship Canal connecting Lake Michigan (via the Chicago River) to the Mississippi basin.
Driving his wife’s power-starved mini-car next to semis on the open road was bad enough, but the steep hill descending to the main bridge crossing the canal made him feel even more cramped and threatened than usual. Newbie truckers exiting the bridge and stopping at the light on top of the hill tended to drift back precipitously before they got their rigs in gear, then spit gravel at his windshield as they jolted and shuddered forward. And he never could be sure that one of the heavily-laden beasts coming up on his tail on the steep downslope entering the bridge on this side of the canal had good enough brakes to actually halt their load before crushing him and his car like the splattered mosquitos littering his windshield. Accordingly, he always stopped well back from the vehicle in front of him on the downslope and maintained a continuous stare into the side-view mirror for approaching danger.
Today was the day his paranoia finally paid off. A fully-loaded truck came barreling down the hill fast, much too fast. He flicked his eyes forward to make sure the lane for oncoming traffic was clear, manhandled the wheel hard to the left, and punched the accelerator to the floor to escape being rear-ended to death.
The subcompact whined like the overstressed golf cart it was, slowly inching to the left until the gas motor kicked in to assist the batteries and the vehicle trembled into stuttering acceleration. Jerry stared at the mirror, watching as gravel flew off the pile in the back of the truck and skittered across the roof of the cab as the unshaven trucker braked hard, his eyes wide, a fat cigar falling out of his surprised, open mouth, as his body lurched forward from the attempted hard stop.
It was going to be close, too close.
Jerry wasn’t a religious guy, so no prayers whispered forth from his mouth as he watched his ignominious death approaching, his reaper laying black rubber on the pavement and churning out white smoke as worn tires tried to overcome the momentum of tons of loose, shifting rock. Instead, a stream of invective flowed from Jerry’s snarling lips as he imagined the huge tires of the behemoth rolling atop his wife’s little bug of a car and stomping it down, greasy, bloody, and flat. He was going to die a stupid, needless, painful death simply because his wife needed his car today because it was her turn to carpool their kids to elementary school.
He hoped she would feel guilty about it at his funeral.
Closed casket, of course.
But, then ... then the crappy automatic transmission in the peapod of a car he was driving kicked up a notch and it began moving faster. He leaned forward instinctively, whether fleeing the upcoming death from behind or attempting to push the car downhill faster, he didn’t know. As Jerry swerved left into the open lane, the truck driver swerved right toward the curb and the empty sidewalk, each of their actions giving a minute boost to the rapidly-shrinking distance between the vehicles.
Maybe, just maybe ...
Suddenly, the hybrid farted forward, as if it had just seen what was about to happen via its rearview camera. Jerry kept his foot on the floor—he didn’t want to take any chances. But, then, he looked up and saw the garbage truck turning into the lane from Canal Street, which paralleled the dark, murky waters of the commercial canal. In the old days, mules had trundled that path, pulling barges from the shore. Now ... well, now garbage trucks trundled along it, picking up dumpsters from the back entrances of the local shops that showed their prettier faces uphill, along the main drag.
Jerry had managed to snatch his life from the jaws of defeat and instead thrust it into the jaws of a Browning-Ferris Industries municipal garbage truck. Instead of straightening out, he kept the wheel hard to the left, hoping to jump the opposite curb and decelerate on the sidewalk. With any luck he could stop before he reached the corner and t-boned the big, green machine with “BFI” blazoned on its side. His foot jerked up and to the left, then stomped down on the brake as hard as he had stomped on the accelerator only moments, but yet an eternity, before.
But, nothing happened.
Nothing fucking happened.
His foot went to the floor, but the brakes did not engage. He searched frantically for the center-mounted emergency brake with his right hand as he gripped the wheel tight with his left, his eyes wide and forward now, scrutinizing this new terror.
Despite taking his foot off the gas, the tiny car still accelerated down the hill. His fingers grazed the handle of the emergency brake for a millisecond before the jolt from jumping the opposite curb flung them up and off, grasping at air. He jinked the wheel to the right, straightening out the car to avoid hitting the side of the building flanking the sidewalk, while his right foot stabbed repeatedly at the brake pedal. He gritted his teeth, bracing for the BFI, the Big Fucking Impact, to come. But somehow, somehow, his lizard brain took over and he jinked the steering wheel hard left again just at the right moment, at the very edge of the corner and the car veered left. Miraculously, the shitty car cleared the back of the garbage hauler by mere inches, avoiding the BFI.
There was a wondrous moment of sweet, sweet bliss before his still accelerating midget auto-coffin cleared the narrow breadth of Canal Street and rocketed up and off the embankment. Before he knew it, the toy car was sailing way out there into the air, defying gravity in glorious flight before arcing down and plunging into the stabbing cold, foul black waters of the Sanitary & Ship Canal, the windshield shattering upon impact, the water enveloping him in a torrent as he sank deeper and deeper.
Fuck.
The only things he feared more than enclosed spaces were drowning and hypothermia.
Oh boy, a threesome, just not the kind he’d always craved.
The tiny car settled rear down from the weight of the batteries as Jerry, still trapped by the cold shock of the water, the heavy pressure of the deep, and a seat-belt auto-tightened by the impact with the embankment, struggled for freedom. As the last wisps of faded gray-green light abandoned him, he watched in mounting terror, his hands grasping frantically, as the air in the car rushed past him from behind, bubbling out through the broken windshield, seeking a sunny, warm freedom he would never know.
In mere seconds, his day had disintegrated into chaos. As his consciousness faded to match the cold black of the muddy bottom of the canal, one last thought flittered through his fading neurons.
He really, really hated his wife’s car.
Flash Drive, by Donald J. Bingle
Prologue
May 28, 1993
Thwack! Yet another grasshopper slammed into the glass, splattering yellow-green ichor. The windscreen wiper shoved the smashed insect’s shell and one still twitching hind leg into a curving wall of accumulated goo and viscera at the edge of the wiper’s reach. Archie stared ahead, peering through the messy windscreen into the black void of the Outback at night. He reckoned the multitude of twinkling stars were outnumbered by the flashes from his headlights glinting off insects fluttering in his path. Still, he held his semi to a constant hundred kilometers per hour on the lonely road seven hours east and north of Perth.
Archie didn’t really care if he could see well. The road was reasonably straight and he knew better than to swerve if a ‘roo wandered into the big rig’s path. But he did need to stay awake. If his ride wandered off the road into open ground, there was no telling what might happen. He could hit a rock, slide into a dry wash, or get caught up by bushy vegetation or soft soil, with no one around to help get his tractor-trailer back on the straight and narrow.
He turned up the classic rock on the cab’s tinny radio and cracked his side window enough for a stream of air, but not so wide as to suck in a torrent of hoppers. For the thousandth time, he wished he’d left the coast earlier so he’d be driving this small stretch from Menzies to Leonora in the arvo, when it was still light out. Sure, it would be warmer and the scenery was pretty damn boring when it could be seen, but at least he would be able to see something besides the flashes of insects in the black through a filter of insect guts. He squinted his eyes and peered into the empty.
A moving slash of intense yellow-white light assaulted his eyes, forcing them fast shut. At the same instant, the radio music dissolved into a mass of crackling static. Archie instinctively hit the air brakes, while simultaneously downshifting as fast as his bulky transmission allowed, even though he had seen—could still see in the scene momentarily imprinted on the back of his retinas—there was nothing in the road ahead. Nor was there anything unusual in the flat salt expanses and mounds of near-constantly dry Lake Ballard to the left—an area which should have been enveloped in blackness this time of night. He opened his eyes, catching a moon-sized streak of yellow-orange light in the sky ahead to his right. At the same time, a long, deep, thunderous, pulsing roar assaulted his ears and rattled the fenders of his slowing rig, like a rolling earthquake triggered by a mining explosion a hundred times stronger than he’d ever experienced.
Meteor strike?
No, the bright streak was still airborne, moving across the distant landscape too slowly for a shooting star by his reckoning, about the speed of a plane. Unlike what he knew about meteors, it also maintained a constant altitude as it progressed, rather than arcing down from the sky and slamming into the ground.
By the time Archie had come to a complete halt in the middle of the god-forsaken roadway and flipped on his hazards, the light had disappeared behind distant hills. But then a sudden horizon-to-horizon burst of blue-white light lasting several seconds emanated from behind the hills where the light had gone down. He sucked in a breath and waited. Moments later an overwhelming, low rumble thundered across the barren terrain, like a freight train and an earthquake and a gargantuan explosion all rolled into one. Where the blue-white light had flashed, a red, spherical—or, at least, hemispherical—dome pulsed above the horizon.
He flicked off the staticky hiss of the radio, but let the truck idle as he got out to take a clearer—less bug-smeared—look at the strange phenomenon. Now the engine’s throaty chug was the only thing breaking the silence. Diesel was dear, but he let it run. He worried whatever this was might mess with the electrical system of his engine and he might not be able to start her up again.
Nuke?
He couldn’t see a mushroom cloud, but the glowing red ball was much dimmer than the flash, or even the streak of light which preceded it, so he couldn’t be sure. Besides, that didn’t make a lick of sense. There was nothing out here in the never never worth nuking. Route 49 wandered northwesterly past Leonora; the red orb throbbed to his north but seemed too far east to be near the road. Lake Darlot? No, farther east. Maybe down Bandya way. Nothing between the two fly-specks ‘cept maybe a few mines and even fewer sprawling sheep stations.
Maybe that was the point. Nothing there. A perfect place to test nuclear weapons—maybe even nuclear missile systems. But that meant a military presence: facilities, equipment, personnel. And that meant large scale, convoy type movement: Bushmasters, G-Wagons, personnel carriers, and trucks of all sorts. And he hadn’t seen or heard of anything like that, not on the roads he traveled and not on the roads—or godforsaken excuses for roads—that the drivers he hung with at the diners and diesel pumps of local truck stops traveled. That meant black helicopters and all that crazy conspiracy shit which went with ‘em. He hadn’t gone troppo. He didn’t subscribe to such nonsense on a regular basis, but God knows, there was nothin’ regular ‘bout what was goin’ on in the lonely nowhere tonight.
A jet crash? Maybe. Not a likely route, though, even for Qantas.
There wasn’t really anything to do ... anything he could check or investigate ... not with the source of the lights beyond the horizon, but he couldn’t just drive on. Instead he waited, his rig’s hazard lights flashing behind him as he stood on the side of the road, watching something unknown pulse in the distance. An apocalyptic hazard light?
Two hours later, the red orb suddenly winked off and he was alone in the dark with nothing but a strange story, a million stars, and a billion or three ‘hoppers, flies, and midges.
He’d barely have enough diesel to make Leonora.
What the hell was that?
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