Pseudocide: Sometimes you have to Die to survive: A Twisty Journey of Suspense and Second Chances by A.K. Smith ➱ Release Tour with Giveaway
Pseudocide
Sometimes You Have to Die to Survive
by A.K. Smith
Genre: YA Twisty Suspense
This tense tale will keep readers on edge until its surprising finale. - Kirkus Reviews
"A gripping suspense novel with unexpected twists."
"Teen fans of Gone Girl will enjoy this smart dark and unpredictable novel."
"Natasha Preston and Karen M. McManus readers will enjoy." ♥
SHE THOUGHT FAKING HER DEATH WAS THE ANSWER TO A NEW DESTINY
SHE WAS WRONG
PLAYING DEAD ISN'T EASY
Sunday Foster had THE PLAN. Make it through the rest of high school, graduate and THE PLAN will begin. Only, fate chose a different path; one decision, one second changed everything,
THE PLAN is ruined.And then a new idea emerges.
What if you could escape your life? Change your name, where you live, and escape all the bad stuff that keeps happening.
Sunday decides in order to change her destiny she must fake her death and start a new life.
Pseudocide not suicide. Sunday has secrets, but she's not the only one. That's when Sunday must decide how far she will go to hide the truth. Plans never work out quite the way you expect.
Sometimes you have to DIE to survive.
Excerpt #1
There are other ways to hide. I love my journal, full of my thoughts and ideas. It belongs to me. A rare item paid for with cash, not an overcharged plastic card from the people I call HE and SHE. Thinking of them as anything but HE and SHE is impossible. They don’t deserve the names Dad and Mom. Mothers and fathers are supposed to love their children. Not mine. I’ve been raised by the internet, silence, and anger.
I remember forcing myself to hand over fifty-five dollars of my hard-earned money three years ago in a shop down by the wharf in Baltimore, an eclectic place with a musty scent. I had imagined Shakespeare lounging against the old walls with cracks and peeling wallpaper, books stacked three feet high around clusters of bound words from the past and rows and rows of bookshelves almost touching the ceiling. A leather journal, filled with creamy white empty pages, beckoned to me, begging for the touch of ink. My companion now bears the stains of my tears and holds the secrets of my heart. A tight brown cord wraps around it three times to keep the truth hidden inside. No one will ever read my words—but somehow, the inked words on the paper make what I’m planning a reality.
Does leather burn? If not, the pages will. Again, I rub my hand over the cover. I know I can’t take my comrade with me—it’s my witness to the truth.
Truth. What a concept. Faking my death will make my whole existence as a human being a lie. THE PLAN didn’t start this way, but if I learned one thing in sixteen years, even the best-laid plans change.
Excerpt #2
Jack is the closest thing to family that I’ve got. I’ve kept naïve classmates and wannabe friends at a distance.
I shuffle on the sidewalk, the rain is falling heavier now, as I see Jack’s house up the street. Warm light radiates from inside. Jack is inside with his mom and dad. I’m sure it smells like heaven in there. We’ve been friends since sixth grade, the day I stuck up for him when the bullies in the lunchroom were making fun of the fresh pink scar on his cheek.
I stand in the rain, remembering that day like yesterday. That day changed everything for me. Plopping myself beside him in the empty seat at his table, I noticed a repulsive, pink, jagged line of healing skin and bruises on his cheek. “What happened to your face?” I believed if you couldn’t stop looking at something, you should acknowledge it instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. The pus-filled scab was hard to ignore. I wondered for a moment if he had a home life like mine.
“I tripped on the ice and hit my sister’s skate blade.” He shrunk in his seat.
The bullies were having a field day coming up with nicknames to describe the cut on his face.
“Does anyone know how it happened?” I whispered.
He shrugged his shoulders not looking me in the eyes.
“Don’t worry, we are going to make up the best story about how you cut your face. You’ll be a hero.”
He looked at me, I mean really looked at me, and right in the eyes. I liked that because in his eyes I saw something different, something kind, and something unexpected that I couldn’t describe. He invited me to his house for an after-school snack that day and I concocted a story of how he walked across Briars Lake and he saved a dog from drowning. I was a good liar even back then. The dog’s name was Harvey and the owners called Jack a hero. By the time we were done, I couldn’t look at his cheek without seeing Jack rescuing a black soaking-wet shivering dog named Harvey.
#3
I wish I hadn’t worn my blue dress, a wrap dress from H&M that ties in the front. It was an impulse buy, part of a shopping spree for my job at the courthouse. I would never wear the business dresses and suits to school, but putting them on and going to work seemed like dress-up. An adult costume. Now I wonder if the top reveals too much. My boobs fill out the blue lacey Victoria’s Secret bra underneath, which makes me worry about my secret tattoo: the words “live free” printed in a tiny circle, about the size of a dime. I can see the edge of the tattoo if I look straight down—a consequence of one of the ugly rampages with HE and SHE.
It happened a night SHE had passed out after drinking two bottles of wine, and HE had punched the fridge, smashed the plates, and thrown spaghetti sauce all over the kitchen. HE left to wherever it is HE goes and I had snuck out and drove to a tattoo shop near University Park. The brown-eyed tattoo artist, Max, blew me off as soon as I walked in the door because I didn’t have any ID. But when he saw my rendering, the size of the tattoo and the two simple words, he paused, studied my face, and said, “I’m sorry, can’t do it. Come back when you’re really 18.”
Pain is a childhood friend I loathe but sometimes need. A video and a home tattoo kit taught me how to ink my own skin. Jack is the only other witness to my hidden impulse. And now, after the slow healing, Jack likes the tiny tattoo, often tracing the circle with his finger. I think he likes it because he’s the only one who knows it exists.
Tyler’s eyes focus on the cleavage in my flushed chest. With confidence, he orders a dirty martini. The dark-haired, pretty waitress turns to me. “IDs, please.”
“The martini is for me. Young Sunday is helping a lonely twenty-one-year-old enjoy a decent dinner, before I hit the party with my buddies.” He holds out his bogus license. His eyelashes never flicker as his lips slide into a smooth smile.
The waitress turns her scrutiny off me and focuses on Tyler, eyeing him up and down like a delicious cupcake she wants to lick. Within minutes, she brings the staff over to the table to sing Happy Birthday. As their voices rise higher, my cheeks flush red. The attention adds a centralized energy in the room. Everyone is looking RIGHT AT US.
Us. Together. I still can’t wrap my head around what I am doing. What am I doing?
The first martini is on the house.
“Taste it.” Tyler slides the delicate martini glass across the white tablecloth.
“No thanks.”
“Oh, come on. Have you ever tasted a dirty martini?”
“No.”
“Try it.”
It tastes like earth mixed in with bitter olives, a man’s drink. When he ordered the second one, I smiled, but my gut constricted. HE’s blood-shot eyes flashed in my mind. I heard my father’s cruel words that came with sucking down alcohol. “You are stupid. If I didn’t have to take care of you, I could have a better life. You and your worthless mother.” Alcohol loves a cruel vocabulary.
What inspired you to write this book?
There are numerous stories in history of men and women faking their death and starting over again. As technology progresses, and humans create more and more digital footprints, it will become difficult to accomplish this. We are tracked by our digital footprints.
Because of technology, and for the integrity of the story, my main character had to be young. Digital footprints of an adult are much harder to erase. The first few drafts were written before the pandemic, and as the pandemic of 2020 exploded, I tried to rewrite the manuscript and set it during pandemic times. It didn’t work. In the year of the pandemic, we are all more connected by technology than ever before, even children with online learning. So, the novel starts right before the pandemic.
As I googled ‘how to fake your death’, ‘gun violence” and ‘radical and domestic terrorism’ theories, I was concerned what my digital footprint must look like! My wish is to take my readers on a journey from Sunday’s point of view. I hope this book makes you feel. There are strong social issues such as bullying, racism, sexual assault, domestic abuse, and gun violence, which unfortunately are all too real in today’s world. For anyone who has experienced any of those issues, please know you are not alone. Talk to someone. There are resources in the back of the book to help anyone who needs to talk.
What can we expect from you in the future?
I’m working on a twisty suspense novel, set on a true to life island in the middle of the sea, with a medical school. I will be visiting that island for background and research.
How did you come up with the concept and characters for the book?
The definition of Pseudocide is “faking one’s death”. Thoughts of writing Pseudocide began in 2015. I read an article about a man who faked his death, and then got caught. I reasoned, if I were ever going to fake my own death, I would never get caught. Why would one want to fake their death? Typically to start over, to escape something terrible.
Where did you come up with the names in the story?
I used interesting names I like; I always thought the name Sunday was a great name. Sometimes, I use friends or family members names (with their permission) and give that character a trait or two of that person and then mix it in with something completely off-the-wall.
What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
I enjoyed creating the twists. I constantly asked myself, now what else can go wrong?
Tell us about your main characters- what makes them tick?
Sunday the protagonist is a good person in a bad situation. Regardless of what terrible circumstances life is throwing at her, she has a drive to succeed and change her destiny. Unfortunately, bad things happen to good people, but it’s what you do after, that counts.
How did you come up with the title of your first novel?
My first book, A Deep Thing was easy. The setting is almost like a character. Cenotes are beautiful luminescent deep underground caves; plus, there’s a deeper message to this thriller. It really is--a deep thing.
If your book was made into a film, who would you like to play the lead?
A young Miley Cyrus type actress would be perfect.
Anything specific you want to tell your readers?
Pseudocide deals with strong social issues teens and adults face every day. I think part of the solution of getting past these issues is understanding and knowing they are out there, not censoring them.
How did you come up with name of this book?
I was fascinated with the word Pseudocide. I want readers to have to think about the word and what it means. Most people do not know what the definition is. I thought about calling the book, Playing Dead or You’re not really dead, are you? But I pictured the cover and just couldn’t change it.
What is your favorite part of this book and why?
I love the ending, but I can’t tell you why or I would be spoiling the conclusion.
If you could spend time with a character from your book whom would it be?
Oh, I would like to spend a day with Hudson. I printed out a picture of him from the internet that captured Hudson, he was sitting in front of me when I wrote his chapters.
And what would you do during that day? Well, if you read the book, you would understand, I would like to go on “Hudson’s Ten Buck Tour” in Las Vegas.
Are your characters based off real people or did they all come entirely from your imagination? My imagination, mixed in with a little reality. I worked at an Alice Paul House Crisis Center in graduate school in Indiana, Pa. Unfortunately, I witnessed abuse and sad stories. But, I also witnessed strong teens and women that become survivors with a story to tell, and a strong ladder to climb. Teens, women, and any person that has been a victim of abuse need to know they are not alone. They are survivors, their story might just help someone else out.
Do your characters seem to hijack the story or do you feel like you have the reigns of the story? My characters definitely jumped off the page, right before my very eyes and there was a little bit of hijacking going on. One character who wasn’t supposed to be the good guy initially, talked me out of making him the bad guy.
Convince us why you feel your book is a must read.
I think teen social issues should be addressed at home and in school. Discussion of issues is healthy and helpful. If Sunday’s story makes the reader feel, or learn one small thing about understanding troublesome situations, then this is a must read. If the readers are surprised at the outcome, then perhaps they opened their mind to the what if’s.
If your book had a candle, what scent would it be?
Well, my character Sunday could answer that question in a heartbeat, as she has an extraordinary sense of smell. A mix of woods and sea with cinnamon and dryer sheets.
Is there a writer which brain you would love to pick for advice?
Oh, I would go straight to the top and pick J.K. Rowling’s mind. What a fascinating mind to pick.
Fun Facts/Behind the Scenes/Did You Know?'-
Fun Facts–
The author worked at a college in Western Maryland outside Ownings Mills, MD.
She also lived in Fenwick Island, Delaware for a year and her family and cousins had a fishing cottage outside Ohiopyle, PA.
She has been to Las Vegas numerous times.
Full of wanderlust and a professional sunset watcher, A.K. Smith writes twisty suspense books that will keep you up late. Her debut novel, A Deep Thing was awarded the Readers Favorite Gold Medal. A freelance travel writer (under another name), she loves to experience the world, and discover new settings to feature in her latest novels and articles. If she’s not on the water or in the water, she is looking at the water. She spends her days working remotely online in either Mexico on the Sea of Cortez, or in the desert or forests of Arizona. Beautiful settings provide thousands of story ideas that she can’t wait to get down on paper. She is convinced, her best life is with a beach, a blanket, and a book. Her big loves are her husband, family, friends, and kindness. Her goal is to step foot on every continent on Planet Earth (maybe even the moon) --she's slowly getting there.
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